Animal rights extremism is a movement of many fronts. Groups are protesting outside of farms and plants, buying stock in restaurant/retail brands, pushing for legislation that will drive up costs of production … and some are active in the courtroom attempting to secure legal “victories” for the cause. One such effort is the work by organizations such as Animal Legal Defense Fund to have animals be viewed on the same plane as people in the court of law, and therefore afforded analogous rights and protections.

Organizations like Direct Action Everywhere have been pushing for an “animal bill of rights” for some time now and during a recent panel at the Animal Liberation Conference they explained that during their upcoming trials they will be defending not their own “right to rescue” but the right of animals to be rescued. ALDF announced an important advancement in this work recently in a blog post titled, “Animals Recognized as Legal Persons for the First Time in U.S. Court.” The animals in question are hippopotamuses belonging to well-known drug trafficker Pablo Escobar. Many media outlets ran with this, covering the story with headlines that backed up ALDF’s assertions, such as “US Recognizes Pablo Escobar’s Cocaine Hippos as People” and “Pablo Escobar’s Cocaine Hippos are Legally People.”

Obviously headlines such as those are of significant concern for the meat community and any others that rely on the (responsible and ethical) use of animals for our livelihood. “Cocaine hippos” today — could it be cattle or pigs afforded the “legally people” status next? Fortunately, legal experts John Simpson and Michelle Pardo of Duane Morris LLC took a deep dive into the case to provide a reality check.

You’ll have to read their post for the full explanation of what the court’s order actually said, but rest assured that “the court made no finding that hippos are 'legal persons' or people, or anything close to that.” Further, “an animal will be considered a 'person' [in the U.S.] only if the legislature says so,” as the Dictionary Act states that “unless the context indicates otherwise … ‘person’ … include[s] corporations, companies, associations, firms, partnerships, societies and joint stock companies, as well as individuals.”

An animal rights extremist organization bending the truth to further its own narrative? Who would have thought.

Are hippos people, too?

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