I’m guessing you may have experienced a challenging in-flight conversation with a stranger: “You’re in the MEAT industry? I’m an animal lover, and I stopped eating meat after I saw a video online.” “I try not to buy my meat from big factory farms.” “You never know what parts they put in a hot dog.” These oft repeated ideas shape countless opinions, and as an industry we object — vigorously. But yelling louder doesn’t make us heard better.

I learned this important, inspiring lesson from an unlikely source: a Black blues singer and pianist named Daryl Davis. As a child, Davis marched in a community parade wearing his Cub Scout uniform — and people threw rocks at him. A thought occurred to him that changed his life’s course: “Why do they hate me? They don’t even know me.” But instead of retreating bitterly, Davis embraced opportunities to know the very type of people who attacked his younger self.

Following a performance in the early 1980s, an audience member told Davis he liked his music, but expressed surprise that a Black man could play like Jerry Lee Lewis. Davis explained that Lewis was his friend and happened to credit Black musicians as his teachers. Davis then sat down with the man, who admitted that he’d never had a drink with a Black man and was a KKK member.

Patiently, Davis built a friendship with the man, causing them both to reflect. Davis then asked to meet with local KKK groups under the guise of research for a book. Over time, and with repeated contact that eroded the stereotypes about Black people, many who Davis befriended left the KKK, turning over their robes to him. Eventually, Davis wrote a book called Klandestine Relationships and now speaks publicly, including on TedX. He’s also featured in a chapter of renowned organizational psychologist Adam Grant’s book Think Again.

According to Grant, Davis intuitively used a technique called motivational interviewing, which engages others and encourages them to voice their believes and explain why they hold them. The listener avoids rebuttals and judgments, listening respectfully with an eye toward common ground, and asking permission to share a different idea or perspective. The goal is not to “win.”

The catch, according to Grant, is that the listener must be genuinely open to hearing other people’s point of view, and that’s often not easy. In fact, to have a productive conversation, we must assume that we can learn something from one another and accept that we may not have all the answers.

If Davis could change KKK members’ minds, what impact might the meat industry have if we adopted the same approach with those who view us in a way we don’t think is accurate or fair? Do we have patience for these kinds of conversations, and are we willing to engage long enough to effect change? Can we concede, even for a moment, that someone we now call critic or enemy might have an idea or opinion of value?

If any experience taught this industry the value of listening, it was our work with Temple Grandin. When Grandin first emerged on the scene, a skeptical industry greeted her skeptically. What could an autistic person raised near Boston teach us about animal handling? Grandin and the Animal Welfare Committee shared a common view that meat was an important source of nutrition and that animal welfare mattered. Although her ideas about scoring criteria like vocalizations seemed unorthodox then, the thoughtful committee treated these ideas with respect, eventually adopting them. Our animal handling approach was transformed, and so was the trajectory of Temple Grandin’s life.

I’ve thought about trust in our industry for decades, hoping to find a quick and easy solution to the challenge of building understanding and respect. I wish I had a meme, a video, a soundbite or a campaign that would make the landscape in which we operate friendlier. I know firsthand that this is a tough industry, unafraid of hard work and a fearless bunch. That’s why we should be unafraid to engage those with different perspectives. Listening and motivational interviewing take time, commitment and patience, but I think it’s worth a shot.

If Daryl Davis could fill a closet with robes of former KKK members who left the group, isn’t humble listening, conversing and engagement worth a try? If you’re game, consider visiting the web site of Braver Angels, a group dedicated to depolarizing the country and restoring civil dialogue. Sign up for a one on one conversation with someone very different from you. Choose a person with a different political view than yours or who lives in an urban area while you may be more rural. Explore the technique of respectful listening, questioning and finding common ground.

Polarized conversations are holding this nation and our industry back – I’m guilty of participating in many during my meat industry career. Respectful dialogue with those unlike us can only help. Try it and tell us about the experience in the comments. We’ll surely benefit from your experience because in a world as complex as ours, no one person or group of us has all the answers. Of that I’m certain.

Why do they hate us? They don’t even know us

Join for free* to continue reading.