Once again, it’s that time of year when many bloggers spend a significant amount of time writing about how much they can’t wait to catch up with relatives after the cancellation of the 2020 holidays, to spend quality time with their extended families, and to finally share a long-deserved (and, long-postponed) holiday meal with their families.

While my wife and I cannot wait to see those relatives we have not seen in almost two years, we must admit that we do dread revisiting the terrifying, unavoidable and obligatory prelude to Thanksgiving dinner — watching parents or grandparents prepare a meal in such a way that could very well put us all in the hospital and likely keep Bill Marler in business for years to come.

Historically, in most families, the specific home where Thanksgiving will ultimately be celebrated has been determined by seniority within the family. Typically, grandparents are understood to hold, and will often exercise, the right of first refusal to host Thanksgiving Day. If grandparents are no longer willing or able, their elder-most children (who are, in many cases, our own parents or in-laws) are bequeathed with the honor. Once the specific location where Thanksgiving will be celebrated has been determined, the question then simply becomes, “How many people will attend?”

Invariably, the person who exercises their first right of Thanksgiving refusal, and insists that Thanksgiving be celebrated in their own home, will be the same person who insists on preparing the meal in their own kitchen. In turn, whether it is your grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, or mother- and/or father-in-law, they will typically insist that they, and they alone, be allowed to manage, supervise, control, oversee and execute the planning and preparation of the entire Thanksgiving meal.

In most homes, when the family members gather at the chosen location to celebrate Thanksgiving, the entire family will typically gather for some time within, or somewhere within visual distance of, the kitchen. In turn, all guests, young and old alike, will be well-positioned for at least a moment, unless they purposely glance away, to view the preparation of the meal. Think of it as giving everyone the opportunity to sit at the Chef’s Table inside the kitchen of a famous restaurant. What happens in the back of the house is suddenly open for everyone to see.

The fear my wife and I always have, when we partake in such family-oriented excursions, is that the relatives who were in many cases responsible in whole or in part for our upbringing, are critically ill-prepared, ill-equipped or, in many cases, simply stubborn and unwilling, to follow basic food safety handling practices. And, as a result, they will usually scoff at (and even criticize) the slightest suggestion that there may be a better, and more safe, way to handle raw poultry and ready-to-eat foods in the same kitchen when preparing a Thanksgiving meal.

As a result, this Thanksgiving we fully expect to arrive at our family celebration, and observe with horror a frozen Thanksgiving turkey (likely bought when it was on sale in 2019) thaw for hours in a kitchen sink full of warm water. This, of course, will likely occur before the sink is fully drained and then used without cleaning or sanitization to wash ready-to-eat produce before it is placed carefully in the bottom of the unsanitary sink to dry before cutting and serving. If proper sink etiquette is observed, then the potential cross-contamination shortcomings usually will come in the form of sharing cutting boards, utensils or even soiled washcloths and towels.

So, while we thoroughly miss celebrating Thanksgiving with those members of the family we have not seen in years, Jess and I remain apprehensive. We truly hope that the thrill of seeing loved ones will not, as is often the case, be overshadowed by the trauma of watching them prepare our Thanksgiving meal.

With all of that said, we are truly looking forward to seeing loved ones this week. And, no matter what your own journey, we wish you each a safe, healthy and warm holiday.

It’s time again for some Thanksgiving trauma

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