“It’s not you. It’s me.”

Surely, whether you were on the giving or receiving end of it, that phrase triggers memories of a breakup.

Humans are generally empathetic, and so we try — even by using the lamest assemblies of words — to let each other down gently. Yet, even in the most mutually respectful of relationships, and in the most understandable of circumstances, a parting of ways is never easy.

Let alone romance, though, one of the most important relationships we can have in our lives is that with our co-workers. Given that we spend as much or more time with them in a day than we do with our loved ones, a good relationship with our fellow staffers can truly be a huge factor in our overall happiness.

I’ve been blessed that in my time here at Meatingplace, I’ve honestly never once dreaded coming to work, and that’s owed largely to the fact that I’ve always been on a team of great people who have cared about each other. It’s no wonder I’ve been here 15 years.

So, losing a great teammate, as our staff has just done, hits hard — especially given we were just a party of five. The equivalent in meat processing is maybe even smaller than a locker plant. It’s not the type of turnover that can be related to what is typical in the larger, labor-strained meat industry, but no matter the size of your staff, there are lessons to learn from these departures.

It starts with recognition that we can’t just chalk it up to regular turnover. In other words, we must be willing to accept that it is us, not them. They can say, “It’s not you, it’s me,” and express their love for us on their way out the door, and that’s nice; but, we must consider why another job is even more desirable to them, enough to prompt their jump.

More money? Sure. But beyond the obvious, a vacancy prompted by a long-time employee’s departure provides an opportunity for a deeper internal reflection and re-assessment: Years ago, what was the job, and who was the person wanted for that job? How did the functions and priorities of the job change over time? And who is the right person for it now?

The answers to such questions, I think, can help inform all of us as employers and teammates in filling a position — or, better yet, crafting a new one. That requires identifying current and future goals, accordingly redefining the job and outlining its competencies, and then matching those with the right person.

Then again, there’s another consideration: In making and marketing the open position, should employers prioritize the importance of the person, or the importance of the job? I suspect that outlining the attributes of the person not just for the job — but for the relationship — is the better starting point. From there, the job can be formed around that person’s talents and aspirations, and thereby extract the most value out of them.

Still, there are no guarantees. People do come and go, and yes, for reasons including employer dissatisfaction.

But the best ones, like those I’ve been lucky enough to work with, leave a better place than the one they found.

Editor's note: This article ran as the Editorial in the June issue of Meatingplace magazine.

Relationship goals

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