Artificial insemination (AI, but not artificial intelligence), has been around for a long time but not quite as long as sex has. It is used almost universally in dairy cows, and it has been a God-send for cattle ranchers who either cannot afford to buy the best bull or would rather bury their arms up to their shoulders in the backside of a cow or heifer to cause or make sure of pregnancy.

There are often a few “open” heifers left after AI. What’s a rancher to do? Call for the “clean-up bull!” The rancher finds that bull either thru a sale or neighbor when a fence breaks or gets a “rental bull” and opens the gate to the pasture of heifers of which maybe 20% still need to be impregnated.

Strutting through the pasture gate, in goes the “clean-up” bull, so to speak, to finish the impregnating task. With tail high, head low and nostrils flaring, the bull starts his walk around pasture for the smell of a heifer “in season,” AKA estrus. He keeps sniffing and meets with indifference from some heifers as they keep their tails protectively between their hind legs indicating they are closed for business and quickly move away from that proud bull.

But, and there is always a “but,” some of those pastured heifers are “open.” The “clean-up bull” finds them and performs his diligent duty.

Now I am sure most of you readers have seen or experienced firsthand both AI and the need for a clean-up bull and could add tales of joy, woe or more intimate knowledge to this story. What then is my purpose in this brief but graphic word picture of the cattle breeding process?

Well, you put that proud bull with an open heifer, and you get a steak 26 months later. That’s a long time causing a major investment. Is it worth it and can a future beef business survive such prohibitively high costs?

What’s a way to lower the investment? Oh no, here it comes. That’s right, cell-cultivated beef. Currently, the time from single cell to steak is about six weeks. That beats the old-fashioned way by about 24.5 months. Think how much money that is in terms of cattle feed, transportation and marketing costs, etc., etc.

And, to add fuel to this expensive fire, you put a rooster with a hen, and you get a baby chick 21 days later and a marketable chicken 42 days after that. No wonder 188 million chickens are sold weekly in the US (Source: Farmers Report, USFoods.com, 7-13-2024) as chicken consumption goes ever higher cannibalizing other proteins.

But, and again there is always a “but,” the cell-cultivated stuff just isn’t taking off like it was predicted to do. Why and why not?

Why? I liken it to the time when Ostrich meat was the next iteration of protein that was sure to capture the American palette. It didn’t and I think that was because most consumers reacted to the idea of eating ostrich the way my mom did. She turned up her nose and simply said, “No.” But ostrich breeding pairs were at one time, long ago, selling for five figure money. That disappeared along with the ostrich meat market.

Why not? The cell cultivated meat and poultry business is just too expensive, despite the fact that it has attracted major investments from both celebrities and venture capitalists alike. They are funding a few start-up companies but fewer marketable products. And, while they may succeed, the whole thing may go belly up if cell-cultivated protein replicates the ostrich meat failure.

But, it’s probably inevitable that the cell-cultivated meat and poultry products in some form will eventually arrive. However, plant-based meat and poultry, in my opinion, will die a slow, painful, expensive death unless its products are combined with some form of real meat and poultry protein. But, that’s another story.

All of this means that producing beef the old-fashioned way will continue until the costs get so prohibitive in comparison to any future, advanced cell-cultivated method. A lower cost will drive consumers to migrate to the cheapest form of their favorite protein without a thought as to how it was produced.

Time for the 'clean-up' bull!

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