There used to be a very special restaurant in Jackson, N.J., called Michelle and Zacks’ Pasta House. It was a tiny little place that was always packed. Zack made the best mussels I have ever tasted, veal to die for, cheesy garlic bread that could make your heart stop, and he made sure to come out and say "hi" to every table. His lovely wife Michelle made chocolate dipped cannoli that could make you fall in love with your worst enemy. And she was the warmest, most wonderful woman. We didn’t have much in terms of money growing up, but when there was a special occasion, we went to The Pasta House.

I think we took for granted the incredible impact of the foodservice industry before it was forced into what was essentially hibernation during the peak of the pandemic. And even as it reopens quickly, so many people have not been in a restaurant in over a year. Shut downs, quarantines, job losses, health concerns, travel restrictions — it could be any number of variables making it difficult or impossible to dine out. And it’s a huge loss.

We have missed so much time with our loved ones. Easters, Passovers, birthdays, Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, graduations, Hanukkahs, Christmases, weddings — all lost to COVID or celebrated in isolation. Sunday was a big day: I took my husband out for Father’s Day to a very famous steakhouse. I had planned for it for a while, because that kind of expense is not something we can afford regularly. I was so excited.

I ordered a USDA Prime ribeye — who wouldn’t be pumped about that bad boy? But you know what? My steak was completely overcooked. And listen, it was still tasty and I still ate it since I had waited so long for it to come to the table. But that steak stood for a lot, and it just wasn’t done right. And it got me thinking.

I’ve worked in several restaurants in my life. It’s a tough gig. Fast-paced, exhausting work, sometimes rude customers, high turnover, huge rushes, long shifts, variable tips. It’s not for everyone. But I also remember working a Christmas Eve shift at a Perkins when I was in college. It had been a long day and I was missing my family. A man came in with his three children, and they were dressed up. I remember that the kids all had very specific requests for their orders and needed extra of just about everything. But I really enjoyed waiting on this family and made sure to accommodate and double check everything on each plate. At the end of the meal, the man handed me a $40 tip, which was not much less than the total bill. My face must have shown my surprise, because he quickly explained that this meal was a very special one for his family, and that he appreciated how much attention they received. I’ll never forget that feeling.

So why bring up the Perkins job? Because it is truer than it probably has ever been for foodservice: You never know why the party has come into your restaurant today. It could be a celebratory meal after chemotherapy treatment. It could be a promotion or a 100th birthday; it could be a successful IVF treatment after four years of trying. And in 2021, it could be any of those things with people you haven’t seen in over a year enjoying a meal out for the first time together since the pandemic began.

As we are struggling to source labor and navigating inflated food costs, we mustn’t lose sight of what restaurants can mean to consumers. Memories with food are some of the best I have. I remember treating my dad to a dinner out for the first time as an adult, and eating paella at a Spanish restaurant with my mom, brother and sister for my 21st birthday. My favorite waiter at the café and restaurant by the mall who always made me laugh. The barbecue chicken I ate after a long and painful labor and delivery of my eldest was sorely needed caloric relief. Taking my kids to hibachi for the first time made fantastic videos that I love rewatching. The elegant tapas I ate with my husband in Atlantic City when we got married were unforgettable. I still crave the cheese fries I ate with my kid sister on hot summer days on the Jersey Shore when we were young. I am so thankful for all of the establishments that made it possible to create memories throughout my life.

As a country, we have been through so much together over the last year. It’s amazing that food is truly medicine for the soul. I know it’s still challenging and will continue to be as we get back to normal staffing levels and grapple with inflation. But it’s so easy to get lost in our own stress and forget that there is a story at each and every table. And hopefully, we can continue to help each one make beautiful memories like the ones I have shared, even as we wade out of darkness.

It’s not just dinner

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