For the longest time I was conditioned to be another version of myself entirely when it came to work. In my earliest days of waiting tables and working retail, I was always told exactly how to stand, smile, and speak — right on down to the words I chose. But throughout all the jobs, bosses, and customers, pieces of me always leaked through. Turns out, I was onto something.

About 18 years ago in my retail days, there were times that I would be doubled over with customers, both of us laughing until we cried after a wonderful conversation on our way over to the latest John Deere tractors and accessories. And man, I could sell a tractor. But you know what? My manager told me that I shouldn’t laugh so loudly and to follow the online training I had taken, which went something like, “Blah blah blah, I am a boring robot who sells outdoor power equipment.” YAWN

I know that we all have had that one boss with a chip on their shoulder. You know, the one that never laughs, smiles, or connects with us personally. If you needed to take a day off because there was a death in the family, documentation was required and a reminder of your strict two days of bereavement was promptly reviewed without ever uttering so much as an, “I’m sorry to hear that.” Who the hell wants to work for a manager that doesn’t show their humanity? Not me.

People — all people — want to feel like they are dealing with another human. They want to be seen, heard, and understood. But we can’t do that while wearing a 6-inch-thick concrete mask over our authentic selves. It doesn’t matter if you are interacting with a customer, or a colleague. The ultimate key to success is to show up in your entirety. Let your flag fly and let the real version of you make true connections, make real mistakes, and create real success.

Before we all get up in arms, I don’t mean to disregard company policy and general rules of professionalism. I don’t mean to ignore processes and policies that work. What I mean is, take the mask off and let your hair down. You can use a script and spice it up. You can have a hearty laugh with a colleague. You can tell your team when times are tough so that the dynamic can adjust for support and success. You can be yourself, and everyone will thank you for it.

It's been such an incredible relief (and inspiration) to see so many prominent personalities in business step into their power and talk about authenticity in leadership. Although it is something that I inadvertently did in my youth, I have done so with great intention in my recent years. And the feedback that I have gotten helps substantiate that effort (the career development certainly hasn’t hurt.)

But the truth is, it’s a bit hard to get to a place of vulnerability in business. What if people don’t like you? What if you openly make mistakes and people judge you for it? What if someone in the office is bothered by your laughter? What if a customer chooses a competitor because they don’t use bad puns in a sales call?

Here’s the truth of it:

Not everyone will like you; that’s not only okay, but it would be weird if every single person did.

If someone is upset by your happiness or expression of it, they have the problem.

Being afraid to makes mistakes or avoiding public accountability is child’s play. Success comes from failure; that is a fact.

What I’m trying to say is this: Let go of the idea that you need to be someone else at work. Be silly if you are silly. Fumble the play every now and again, and share what you learned. Allow others to be their true selves around you without fear of judgment. Follow the rules, yes, but do things your own way. Trust me, you’ll be amazed at what the real you can achieve.

Let your flag fly

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