If you’ve ever ordered a pizza in New Jersey, you know that calling the place can be a real gamble. The person who answers is always frantic, there’s a ton of noise in the background, and you are immediately placed on hold with or without your consent. It’s delicious chaos. The first question when your call gets picked back up is always a tough one, “Pickup or delivery?” If I say pickup I need to put pants on, wrangle the kids, and drive somewhere, but if I say delivery I’ll wait triple the time and have to tip. (It’s always delivery for me.)

You, like my wonderful husband, might wonder why I would pay more and wait longer for my pizza. Well, because I’ve got things to do. I can do the dishes, hang out with my kids, reply to emails, or numb my brain with meaningless social media for a whole hour and have dinner delivered to my door — um, yes please! And honestly, I feel this way more and more about so many things.

The pandemic has made convenience more accessible to me living in a less populated part of New Jersey. We have Doordash, Uber Eats, Instacart, Target Pickup, Walgreens pickup, Shoprite from Home, Lowe’s pickup — and I’m here for it all. I can order my groceries on my lunch break and have them delivered to my door at 5:30, just in time for cooking dinner. I can play a board game with my kids and have Playa Bowls handed to me just in time for dessert. I can bring my dog to Target and have my order put in my trunk instead of walking the aisles with my kids asking for everything they see, avoid the checkout line, and buy (mostly) only what I need.

I’m here to tell you that I am never going back. Sure, occasionally I will take a leisurely stroll through the aisles of the grocery store or make a trip to pick my own steaks. Absolutely, I will get back to sipping a latte while perusing my local Target. Yes, I will head to my favorite farmer’s markets for some honey and produce a few times this year. And obviously, I will go to a restaurant once in a while.

But picture this: It’s a Wednesday night, and my husband has the night off of work. We have been ships passing in the night for the last two weeks while he works nights as a police officer. There is no babysitter, but we desperately need to spend some quality time and leaving for date night is out of the question. Hurrah! We feed the kids dinner (nuggets) and get them to bed. We pick a movie from our favorite streaming service and order dinner that we love. We order a bottle of wine with Drizzly. We order dessert, cheesecake and cannoli. We pay a total of maybe $20 in tips and fees. Less than a babysitter. Less than a server at a restaurant. No gas, no checking in at home, no getting dressed up. Just me and my hubby, our sweats, our food and drink, and our home.

I order everything online because my time is limited and precious. I don’t want to waste it shopping or running errands. I don’t want to go to the toy store when I can have it shipped already wrapped with a card in time for the party. I don’t want to wait in a long line for a cup of coffee when I can place a mobile order and have it handed to me when I get there. I don’t want to spend all of my time waiting and running when I can take that time back and cook a nicer meal, read another bedtime story, give my son a bubble bath instead of a shower, or relax for a while longer at the end of a grueling day.

Now I understand that some people might think that getting too far into the realm of technology and convenience can affect things negatively. Automating people’s jobs, less socialization, things becoming less about people and more about gratification. I’ve read this opinion too many times. But this weekend I went to visit my mom, which is arguably one of my favorite things to do. I stayed for hours and we laughed and played charades (using an app, go figure). And I was able to spend that time with my mom because I had already ordered everything I needed for the refrigerator from my local grocery store, cleaning supplies for pickup at Target, and pizza through Slice scheduled for dinner time that night. On my way home, I picked up my order, got home and unpacked my groceries that had just arrived, and had a leisurely pizza night with my kids, kid sister, and our best friend. Those conveniences gave me the chance to spend my time in a way that was meaningful.

In a world where we are pushed to our limits professionally and personally, where we are stretched too thin too often, where we too often come last in our own list of priorities, we need to take back whatever time we can. We need to fiercely protect our ability to take care of ourselves and our loved ones. We need to use efficiency-boosting technology to our own benefit and decide what holds enough value to take up space in our lives. Date night with my husband, charades with mom, bubble baths for my little guy, true crime with my teenager, and Netflix with Doritos by myself are way up there on my list.

I love how the flexibility of new technology has given me the chance to take more pictures of my kids laughing. I love that I have time to teach my son about the flowers growing in our garden and to do science experiments in the dining room. I love that our pizza night tradition has given everyone in my home an evening with guaranteed relaxation and comfort food. I love picking up a mobile order and having lunch with my teenager on my work from home days. I don’t miss long lines or noisy pizza joints. I am happier without the chaos of a destination for every small need. I didn’t realize the opportunity cost of my old way of doing things. But I get it now, and I will choose time-saving convenience every single time and invest it back into the things that truly matter.

The time we can’t get back

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