“Winners never quit, and quitters never win.”

“When you feel like quitting, think about why you started.”

“The struggle is temporary, quitting lasts forever.”

How many times have we heard these phrases? Moreover, as we get older, how many times have we SAID them?

I grew up in a family where quitting was not acceptable. I’m sure many of you can relate. Something was uncomfortable? Keep going! Something was pushing you to your limit? Keep going! There was no such thing as “cut your losses” or “know when to say when.” Call it stubbornness or grit – you kept going until you finished what you started and that was that.

So, you can probably imagine what my reaction was when my 17-year-old daughter told me recently that she wanted to quit softball.

This declaration came on a Friday evening. She called me from the bathroom at the ball field and I could hear that she was fighting back tears. Without getting into all the details, there had been some drama on the team and she was implicated in something she insists she didn’t do. Her integrity was being questioned and it was really wearing on her. When the coach addressed the situation with the entire team, she felt targeted and that was the breaking point.

After a brief chat, we decided she needed to leave practice and come home. My mind raced with thoughts: “Leave in the middle of a practice? But we aren’t quitters! What will people think?” However, my role in that moment was to be the best and supportive mother I could be, and when she got home, we had a good discussion about whether or not she would be leaving the team for the right reasons.

What are those reasons? When IS quitting the answer?

I have often given the advice to colleagues when asked about leaving a job for a new opportunity, “Make sure you are running TOWARD something and not AWAY from something.” Sage advice that was shared with me early in my career and I do believe is a good starting point for career decisions. To be sure, many poor career decisions have been made because the “grass looked greener on the other side of the fence” only to lead to later regret and disappointment.

But what should you do when you are involved in something that is affecting your health? This may include frequent illness, crankiness, sleep disturbances, hives, upset stomach, high blood pressure. Or, if you are only persevering because you feel guilty. What if by leaving, you let others down or people think badly of you? Or, one of my favorites, you’ve invested so much time and effort and it would be a waste of those previous efforts to quit now.

If you see yourself in a few of those statements, it just may be time to quit whatever it is that is making you feel that way. How do you know? Late self-help author, Debbie Ford, wrote “Remember, all the answers you need are inside of you; you only have to become quiet enough to hear them.” So, I encourage you to get quiet, get uncomfortable and ask yourself some questions for self-reflection.

I happened upon a blog about when quitting is the best option that was really helpful to me as I was walking my daughter through her recent softball situation, and it included the following questions for self-reflection:

What was the original purpose of your engagement in the activity? Has that changed? If yes, how has that changed? If no, how have you changed?
What specifically is not working? Is that a short-term issue or a long-term issue?
Can you do something about it? If yes, will that resolve the situation?
If no-one said anything negative about you, what would you do?
If you felt fifty percent more confident, what would you do?
Five years from now, what will have been the better decision — quit or continue? If you continue, how will it affect your life? If you quit, how will it affect your life?

I’m sure that if you’ve read this far, you are wondering what my daughter decided. She indeed left the team and has decided to make other significant life changes into order to, in her words, “create an environment in which she feels she will have a better chance at success.”

Maybe we can all learn something from her. I know I have a few things in my life that I need to evaluate. I suspect many of you do as well. Whether it is a job, a relationship, a volunteer activity, or any other obligation you have taken on over the years, I wish you all the best in your self-reflection, and I will leave you with this:

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.” — Robert Tew

When quitting IS the answer

Join for free* to continue reading.